Friend + Enemy = Frenemy

Whether we admit it or not, we all have "frenemies". A frenemy is someone who is both "friend" and "enemy". It's totally different from a love and hate relationship. It's more complex and complicated as it has that twisted, psycho, sick flavour to it. Its a relationship that is both mutually beneficial or dependent while being competitive, fraught with risk and mistrust.

Frenemies come in different guises and settings - frenemy at work; frenemy amongst friends; frenemy amongst business rivals etc.

I confess to have several frenemies at work. I consider a work colleague one when - he/she can be a pal one day and stab you in the back the next. Although some might argue that I should learn to live with it and this is a common workplace peril; nevertheless, why do certain colleagues morph into frenemies? Is it because they are congenitally unable to have true friends?; or that's the way these people operate. You may be friends when all is smooth sailing, but when the chips are down, your frenemy will never take the fall.

It's so sad that some people are so laden with fear about their political position or their competence that they never miss an opportunity to plunge the blade in the back. Keeping a frenemy at a distance to minimize the risk of being stabbed doesn't really work. Face it, part of the reason your relationship developed as it did is because the two of you are too dependent on one another, and share too many goals or project to disentangle your professional fortunes.

So, how do we deal with our frenemies at work?? Imagine this -- you go up to your frenemy and said "weapon of choice: pistols -- duel at dawn"!! Of course the victor is me, myself and I!!

Happy Teacher's Day

Teachers facilitate student learning and thinking skills. Although many people see teaching as a "half-a-day" job, most teachers work well outside the school day including weekends. Long hour is not uncommon with no additional financial compensation. In addition, many teachers purchase items for their students and classroom out of their own wages!!

In most cultures, teaching is referred to as a profession. Teachers are considered professionals on par with physicians, lawyers, and CPA's because they are often required to obtain specialized education and professional licensure.

UNESCO inaugurated World Teachers’ Day on 5 October 1994 to celebrate and commemorate the signing of the Recommendation Concerning the Status of Teachers on 5 October 1966. World Teachers’ Day also highlighted the Recommendation Concerning the Status of Higher Education Teaching Personnel adopted in 1997. In Brunei, Teacher's Day, is celebrated on September 23.

I dedicate this entry to all teachers, lecturers, tutors, educators, trainers and instructors. Kudos to all teachers for your service to the country. Happy Teacher's Day.

September Babies

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated. The Birthday person is usually given a treat on the day; or the birthday person gives a treat to his/her loved ones; or the birthday person is subjected to a "rite of transition". (hehehehe -- the "rite of passage" depends on the ingenuity of the organizer).

It's also the day to celebrate the coming of age. Some people love their birthdays and some hate this time of the year. It's the idea of getting progressively older that put the fear of God in some people. It reminds them of their frailty and the time they have on this earth. Its also the moment to reflect how much we have done for selves, families, careers and the community.

September Stones: Sapphire; Lapis lazuli; Peridot
September Flowers: Forget-me-not; Aster

September Birthday Babies

4th L-a- T-s-n
13th The youngest in the family
16th A--s
17th The Newlywed: J----i
18th R-s--h
21st N-z--n
29th P-p-i


Happy Birtday September Babies. Enjoy your day to the fullest.

Reflections

To err is human, to forgive is divine. They say confession is good for the soul. To own up to a 'misdemeaour' is a an admission of guilt. The question is what motivate people to 'fess all'.

There are many reasons why people admit to mistakes. Among others are;

1. They are guilty; enough said!!
2. They are genuinely contrite
3. They want to be forgiven and hence guilt free
4. They are attention seekers and they want the world to know they did it!!!
5. They own up in order to move on
6. Regret and penance
7. Divine salvation

Fasting month is the time to reflect on past mistakes and make amends. It is also the time to accumulate merit points (in religious sense). During this month, it's higly recommended to 'detox' from "earthy pleasures";"decadent" or "sinful" activities - in short "do no evil, see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil".

Ramadhan is a sure way to warrant good behaviours among fellow believers. Wouldn't it be good if this state of affair continue all year round?? I know this is very pollyannaish but it sure will make the world a better place to live. Happy Fasting Everyone and Be Good!

Fashionista

I love and appreciate beautiful things - may they be clothes, shoes, design, art, paintings, architecture, places, etc.

I went to one of the relatives' new house recently. I love the house design... I'm not just saying that to be nice. The bunglow is a shrine to the "kampong" and "western" concepts. If you sit in one room, you can see through the entire house...its quintessentially stylish, 'airy' and there's lots of light. The scenery outside the house is all green....

One of my connections made a very interesting remark about designs. He insisted that clean lines will do it for him every time. He argues that there's elegance in simplicity. Yes, i 'dig' you LL. You don't like fuss!! However, fashion is a statement of intent or personal taste!! To each his/her own.

Sometimes kitsch designs can be fun too. Occasionally,I do indulge my penchant to kitsch. I suppose, you can always see beauty in kitsch. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and kitsch brings out the playfulness in me!!! Don't get me wrong, I am totally against anything OTT, too loud, too gaudy and too ostentatious!! A little kitsch can be a source of pleasure and amusement. Ask my BFF about her pouty fish. It's totally kitsch and it's a definite ice breaker!!

Vintage stuff? I love vintage especially from the house of Dior, Gucci and Chanel!!! Enough said!!

Shoes?? There are some Imeldas in the house of Staar. hehehe. Identities of shoes hoarders; collectors and fashionistas will be kept under wraps to spare their blushes!!!


My List of beautiful things

Edifice: SOAS Mosque; Angkor Wat; Taj Mahal; The Blue Mosque;
Nature: The natural beauty of Brunei Darussalam
Country/Place: Brunei Darussalam, Thailand, Venice, England and France.
Paintings: The Kiss by Klimt; Sunflower by Van Gogh; The Scream by Munch & Kampong Ayer by Pg Timbang
Dance: Rhumba, Salsa, Tango, Jazz
Animals: All creatures great and small
Felines: Cats rule!!

Stay Tuned!

Me, Myself & I

"To join or not to join the blog family".......that was the ultimate question. I thought long and hard about it. I have to be ready to share a piece of me with "my public". In fact, I have a map for my blog. It's a place where I can write anything that I want!! Tres moi is in the driving seat. The opinions expressed here are mine, my and me own!!

Me, Myself and I come from the school of positive thinking. I will write about things that make me happy. I am numero uno after all. I will please me, myself and I. Personally, this freedom to express my thoughts is very liberating and empowering. However, this will not give me a licence to write anything toxic/poisonous/offensive in my entry as it beats the purpose of positive affirmation.

A word of caution: If you think I am being too "pollyannaish" or otherwise......This is me, moi and I!!!! Take it or leave it!!!

Fishterian

I love all kinds of food, unfortunately I am allergic to MOST. My staple diet consists of fish and fish and more fish. Can you imagine having fish every single day?. What I know for sure is, there has to be a lot of imagination and originality in the preparation of every meal. Suffice to say, as a fishterian, it has been a gastronomic adventure.

You would imagine that I eat all kinds of fish. Wrong answer!!! I eat only certain species of fish. Family members and BBF will attest to my aversion to eating ugly fish!! Aside from the looks...they tend to taste very, very fishy!!! Yes, not all fish are great and equal to the palate!! Do you know that some fish smile??? Exactly!!! Do you want to eat a smiling fish??? I rest my case!

Being a fishterian is not all that bad. It has some perks. Family members, BBF and close friends always ensure that there's fish when they invite me out for a meal. Isn't that sweet?

There's nothing fishy (no pun intended) to this blog. It's just to share everyday stuff with my loyal readers. Last words - Fish Rules!!

F-r-i-e-n-d-s

We all need a well-rounded circle of confidantes and companions to make our life richer. It has been said that friendship can be our greatest joy and greatest sorrow.

Best Best Friend (BBF)
What I know for sure is my BBF brings out the best in me. I have known BBF for a long time now. We have gone through good and bad times together. BBF is a kindred spirit--a soul mate. BBF "digs" me like no one else can and that's rare and priceless. I love you BBF.

"We all need a little help from our friends"
-John Lennon-

Having a BBF is fantastic. However, we all need a different assortment of friends. Take for instance JP. She hails from the land of 4 seasons. She is strong, gorgeous and a true warrior. J: Two words - 5 STARS.

I---h: wise, artistic, vibrant and an inspiration.

Work Friends

Good work friends are NECESSARY in order to survive the "jungle" called work. My really good friends at work are A and R. We bitch about our bosses (hehehehe), colleagues (:p) and fantazise about telling our superiors "I quit" when we hit the jackpot. We share dirt on who's good to work with and who's not. We laugh and we go for break together :)

What I know for sure is, A & R are my friends on and off the world of work. It has been said, its difficult to find true friends at work. I am really blessed. A & R - you are the best!!!

Special Dedication
F------- who is Tremendously Beautiful!!! Truly Beloved by BBF. Anyone BBF loves will always get my vote!! You go girl!!


Four Legged Friends
I love my furry friends!!!! Enough said!!!

Moments

A moment in a person's life can either be life changing or nostalgic. It can bring happy, sweet, sad and poignant memories. What does a "moment" mean to you? To me, a moment can be associated with people, songs, occasions, food, clothes, places, animals, things, books, words or weather. I am going to share some moments with you.......

Song: "Manic Monday" reminds me of -- Easter hols and when I had chickenpox at Uni.

"Bubur Kacang Hijau" reminds me of the late Patriarch

Teh Tarik reminds me of my best best friend. She makes the best "teh tarik" in the whole world!!!

Song: "Like a Virgin" reminds me of the kids: A & H.

A song by the late Sudirman called "Jamilah" reminds me of Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Fruit: Papaya reminds me of an old flame. His favourite fruit!!

"Aura"," gemstones" and "jalan belakang Brunei" reminds me of the Family Chef.

Pronunciation: Karrrrrrrauuu reminds me of S----a!!

She Ra: It reminds me of J---y P--s a.k.a Garfield. She sprained her leg/arm when she tried to channel She Ra....a warrior princess and a cartoon character when she was a child!!

Ghouls: A cousin of Toyol. Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (there are TWO of them).....need i say more???

Chocolate Cake reminds me of "Silly Goose".

Afro hair style and the song "splash!splash" remind me of Ju---- a.k.a. K--g2 B--

A long drain reminds me of the good old days with -- N; N; the late B; M, M & E when they were kids. I think everytime they come across a long drain, it must bring a big smile on their faces!!!har! har! har!

"Cupak" reminds me of feeling too full after Sungkai and of N-z--n.

"Frills on shoes ala Julia Roberts" reminds me of the youngest in the family.

"Bubu", a smelly "security blanket" reminds me of the teacher.

"Throw water in a laundry basket" reminds me of S-f-a.

"Cha Cha" and "Merah" remind me of P--pk-n.

The sentence "I eat Tuna because its cheap" reminds me of LL. So does watching the movie; The King & I.

"Broken Limbs" remind me of three persons whose limbs were broken/injured through sports or mischief. JP who hails from Birmingham and Leeds, J---y P--s a.k.a Garfield and A of Gadong & Muara. This moment is FOR YOU!!!

and Finally "Suplise" reminds me of an honorary family member, J.

To Be Continued

Ode to the Family (September)

Its true what they say about "the institution of the family". We can choose our friends but we can't choose our family. Traditions and Norms dictate that we must love and honour our family in spite of their idiosyncrasies!!

Someone sent me a forwarded email today about family...how we take them for granted yet we are so dear and kind to our friends and neighbours. Its my A-Ha moment!!! This blog is thus a special dedication to my family members near and far. Pseudonyms will be used to spare the nominees' blushes!! Obviously, I can't write an ode to all!!...so, this is Chapter 1. Stay tuned family. I will honour 2 family members each month. There is no order of importance to this tribute -- you are all special. If you want to nominate someone from the family for the October Ode, please email or text me!!! Deadline for nominations will be on 27 September 2007. The selection of nominees is at the author's discretion. The author's choice is final. So watch this space.

The month of September is dedicated to 2 special persons in the family. Nicknamed "Resilient" and "Eccentric"... I hope I do justice to them.

"Resilient". It's very difficult to write about this lady. Despite the "resilient" tag, i called her a doormat sometimes. Yup! right smack infront of her face. Why?? I do get angry especially when people take advantage of her and she just turn the other cheek!! It irritates me!! If its me, I won't take it!!! I admire her patience and loyalty. Recently, she advised me "don't hate people because they are rotten to you. You must remember that these people were kind to you in the past. We must honour the goodness in people" Wow!!! I don't know whether I have the capacity to look beyond the nastiness!! She is an inspiration!!

"Eccentric". Now, this label suits this person to a T. People always underestimate her!! She is not very vocal and she can be extremely stubborn. However, despite these flaws... she is generous to her family and friends. Her generousity is very subtle and unassuming. One thing for sure she knows what she wants and she will go for it no matter what people say!! Perhaps tenacity can be a good trait.

To be Continued

BOOK WORM

For those of you who know me, I lOVE BOOKS. I am a self-confessed book worm. I am also an avid and voracious reader. I must admit that I have an eclectic taste when it comes to books. I read everything - fiction, thriller, chick flicks, suspense, crime, detective, paranormal, sci-fi, UFO, kid stuff, philosophy, autobiography, history, romance, self-help books and cartoons. I am not a snob when it comes to genre. In short, I love all genre and books give me the greatest pleasure and contentment.

I spend a lot of money on books and magazines. Somehow, I don't grudge this "addiction". The pursuit of happiness for me is reading. Recently, I have come across THREE interesting books which were incidentally recommended by my favourite person--OPRAH.

1. The Inconvenient Truth By Al Gore
2. Do You! By Russell Simmons
3. The Secret By Rhonda Byrne

Obviously, I have to have THEM!!! I was fortunate that a friend has ALL THREE BOOKS! :)
Borrowed the books and devoured the contents in no time. My comments are as follows;

DO YOU! by Russell Simmons

Simmons was featured in Newsweek recently. He is a successful entrepreneur in the USA. It is interesting to read the inner working of this enterprising person. He is also a very rich man and is recently single!!(hehehehe). That's why I chose to read this book first.

The book is easy to read; Blending business insight, universal spiritual truths and an inspired sense of purpose DO YOU! crosses the lines of age, race and background with wisdom that will lift you up and motivate you to pursue your vision. I recommend this book to everyone. 5 STARS

THE SECRET by Rhonda Byrne

This is a self-help book and it is kinda new age in its approach. This book has created a lot of buzz to book worms around the world. When I finally got the book in my hand, I was a bit apprehensive to read it. I was scared that it might be just a big hype or marketing gimmick. The Secret does not disappoint. The Secret reveals to her readers how to obtain the good life by attracting only the things in your life you want. 5 STARS

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH By Al Gore

Al Gore in the opening monologue of An Inconvenient Truth writes, " You look at that river gently flowing by. You notice the leaves rustling with the wind. You hear the birds; you hear the tree frogs. In the distance you hear a cow. You feel the grass. The mud gives a little bit on the river bank. It’s quiet; it’s peaceful. And all of a sudden, it’s a gear shift inside you. And it’s like taking a deep breath and going, "Oh yeah, I forgot about this."

I like this particular passage because I think its very poignant. We have taken so much from mother nature and i think its pertinent we protect our earth. We have to educate our children that conservation is our duty and responsibility.

I came across this wise Cree Indian proverb when I was at university. This proverb has stayed with me like forever. It says....


Only when the last tree has been cut down
Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you find
That money cannot be eaten

Al Gore's book and this proverb carry the same message. We have to be diligent in conserving our common future. An Inconvenient Truth focuses on Al Gore and his travels in support of his efforts to educate the public about the severity of the climate crisis. This book is a bit dry in some parts but it's worth to plod on. It's an interesting read. Because I love nature and I think Al Gore is right....I give this book 5 STARS.

Cameo: Cats!

I know for sure that cats are regal. But do you know that they have feelings and they can be very expressive?. I have 2 beloved furry friends and they are really special in their own ways. My first baby is a tom and oh boy he has an attitude to match!!. I think his personality suits his colour (ginger) and gender!!! hahahaha. After all, what they say about males coming from Mars are true!!! My second baby feline is a silver tabby. She is very affectionate and has a mind of her own.

Recently, there are three new kittens in the household and it was hate at first sight for my silver tabby!! No matter how tiny the kittens are....and how they "kow tow" to her.....she still hisses at them!!! Its an interesting sight to behold!! She looks like a hissing queen trying to protect her territory from invasion!!! I must admit I love all felines, small or great and that feelings must be translated overtly and hence the hissing tantrum!! I digress here, did you know cats have ESP? That's another story!!! So, watch this space.

My ginger tom cat has come around to the kittens' feline appeals.....no more showing fangs and claws!!! By the way, the kittens are all females....a white and black tabbby, hence called Freckles; a goulash coloured moggy....the colour is an interesting sprinkle of paprika, ginger, amber, silver and black. This particular moggy is round, soft and very furry. She answers to Cabbage. The last kitten is called Cash. We found her at the bank and hence the label. Like her namesake and the place where we found her, she is such a nag. She meows all the time for attention. Its like if you are a tad late in paying your bills....the bank will start calling!!!!

This analogy of my feline friends can be channeled to the human society especially when we observe the dynamics of gender. Look at my macho ginger tom cat.....despite his initial cattiness.....he's ok now with the female kittens!!! It comes to mind that males are susceptible to the allure of females!!! They simply can't resist us and that is why females are the superior sex. I am not sexist here but that's how it is!!! My silver tabby is still hissing away....like all females....she is taking her time to get to know her own gender. Females are more intuitive, more critical and more judgemental of her own sex.

The Star is back

It has been ages since I put my thoughts onto print. I am here now and I am here to stay. For this first installment, its going to be short and sweet. Some of you have really missed my stellar presence and i hope to contribute regularly on this blog. So people, watch this space. I'll be back!!!!