Saturday Blue

I have been surfing the TV channels for something to watch - but- alas, there's nothing exciting on the box tonight. I am bored, really bored. I have things to do but I can't just sum up the energy to do my chores - don't want to think about work as it just make me sick to the stomach!!

For the past few days, I have been feeling really morose and depressed. I can't seem to shake the darkness. Believe me I tried! However, the feeling of helplessness was really strong. I was simply not in a good place and I really needed an outlet to let it all out!! I don't know why I am feeling like this -- i mean i have a good life and i have nothing to complain and yet why did I feel so down in the dumps?!!!

I suppose everyone goes through a rough patch in their lives, or the time of the month is fast approaching which may explain this moodiness... Whatever it is, I want this heavy feeling to just go away....

It wasn't until this afternoon when the darkness slowly dissipate. I had an A-ha moment when a good friend of mine said in a conversation that 'laughter is the best medicine'. I think she is right, humour and laughter will uplift the soul. I had a hearty belly laugh and it felt damn good.

Call it serendipity, a chance comment by my good friend and a song heard on the radio called 'open your eyes' by Maher Zain that made me pulled myself out of the blues. When you feel so down, look no further, pray to God. God loves us.

The moral of the story is - God is everywhere and will always be by your side.

Furry friends

For the past few days, I have been bombarded with pictures of cats, tales about cats and offer of a kitten to call my own. My love of felines is well-known amongst those who know me. I have had cats as my loyal companions and they were with me for many, many years. I loved my cats and they loved me unconditionally. I loved it when i called my furry friends by names and they came running to me. I loved petting them. I loved sleeping with my cats. What's not to love - cats are soft, adorable and they purr....

When my cats died, it just broke my heart. I am not saying that I won't ever have a cat to call my own. It's just that I am not ready yet.

I love cats and that's a fact.

I am still here

Just wanna say I am still here and I will see you soon.

Cheers!

Favourite Poem

A friend and I recently discussed about our favourite poems. I have several that i really love - some are inspirational, some are sweet, some are sad and some are really dark. I used to write poems when i was younger. I still kept some poems penned from my youth where they will remain hidden until I am ready to show them off to the world. The poems that i wrote are totally deeply personal, dark and painful because they were written when I was feeling down. I don't know why I have the inspiration to pen one when I am at my lowest ebb!!



I am going to share one of my favourites. I read this poem when I was fifteen. I came across it by accident in the library when I was looking for a book to take out. I was intrigued, i peeked inside, read a few lines and was hooked instantly. I must admit that at that age, I did not really fully understood the depth of this poem. However, I always remembered it because I thought it was beautiful. Recently, the title of this poem was made into a movie. Enjoy the poem below. Have a nice day.



Invictus

By

William Ernest Henley


Out of the night that covers me
black as the pif from pole to pole
i thank whatever gods maybe
For my unconquered soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance
Nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll.


I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Bad Hair Day

A bad hair day can actually spoil your day!! I jest not! There are some people who walk around with severely very bad hair -- 2 celebrities come into mind...Tim Burton (Hollywood Film Director) and Mickey Rourke (Hollywood Actor), yes they are men, famous and rich....but no matter how permanently ugly their hair are - they are still seen as desirable objects by some women!! Obviously these women are desperate and need to be in the limelight!!

I digress! Anyway...i have a really bad hair day today. Saw a friend today who thought i looked very sickly!!! urrrgghhhhh!!! I went shopping later in the day and this stranger gave me this weird look and to add insult to injury...a wide berth!! I must really look like a fright! Mrs Frankenstein I was not!! I was just having a very bad hair day!!

I think negativity is bad karma. When you feel negative, you don't feel good and it really shows on the outside and hence...very bad hair day!! I know beauty is skin deep and its on the inside that matters...but positivity makes you feel good and as such everything around you is beautiful. Well, that's my theory and I am sticking by it!

I am going to have a fantastic week. And I know that I will have great hair days too. Be positive people. Be Happy!

Seriously January

It has been raining for the past few days on and off. I love the rain especially when I am in bed under the cover with a good book. Anyway, rain can make you feel nostalgic and piquant too.

I have been thinking about some stuff recently on and off. Frankly speaking, this matter bothers me and it pains me just by thinking about it. On occasion, i went alternatively sad, then depressed, then angry, then numb and finally sod it off!!!

The thing is, despite the diverse emotions: pain, sadness, anger, hurt pride, sense of injustice and being judged harshy, I understood and accepted it all. I am looking at the bigger picture and as such I am able to accept and be truthful to self. Everyone involved had good intentions. Unfortunately along the way some stuffs were misconstrued and lost in translation.

I think it is empowering, if only we care to look at the bigger picture. This is not a matter of personal vindication or justification. It's simple. I understood! I empathized! Through out it all, I evolved.

I think its important for me to deal with this matter. I think I have found a path to deal with it. It has been said that wherever there's a great dilemma exists is where the greath growth is, too. I can choose to take the high road or the low road. Negativity will bring me nowhere.

It is true that other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny. I am not defined by this situation. I choose the high road. I choose to be happy. I choose not to play victim. I choose to move on! Enough said.

Hello 2010

It has been 2 weeks since we lived in 2010. I remember the coming of the new year vividly.........I was actually outside the house at midnight to watch the fireworks to mark the coming of 2010. It was a beautiful sight. The sky was lighted with gorgeous display of fireworks.

As I was watching the night sky, I saw a big new moon. It made me smile as it reminded me of the movie 'new moon' which caused a frenzy amongst teens all over the world.




In some cultures, new moon means a new life or beginning. Isn't that interesting? Normally, people make new resolutions to mark the beginning of a new year. To be honest, I haven't made any for many, many years. However, what I do know for sure are the following:

1. Be yourself and remain authentic
2. Live, laugh and relax
3. Don't sweat over small stuff
4. Live graciously and in gratitude
5. Don't take your family and friends for granted
6. It's just a moment and its not for the rest of your life is my favourite mantra
7. Always consider the bigger picture
8. Take charge of your life. You are in the driving seat
9. It's NOT always about YOU. Don't play a victim. It's pathetic!
10. All actions have consequences. You have to learn to submit, accept and take responsibility.

Have a happy 2010 everyone and stay positive! :)