Thursday, May 21, 2009

A New Beginning

Unbeknown to anyone, I have been feeling all sorts for the past week or so. I have indulged and have been enjoying my disenchantment all by myself....is it so worth it???

Well, it was 'fun' for a while but i am so not into self-knocking myself. There are other important things that could occupy my thoughts, positive things that can make me happy. I have always teased a good friend of mine, Rx whenever she is talking about depressing stuff to stop it and instead of dwelling on it to just wonder why a particular stand of tree by the roadside is dropping its leaves...it always made her laugh...bless her!!

I have learned a valuable lesson this week. It's so lonely feeling depressed. Its not a good feeling especially if you kept it to yourself...i think it can be dangerous and it can bring self-harm in the long run if it's not brought out into the open. The worst thing about it is no-one knew how you are feeling inside!!! I realise that talking to someone helps. You have to deal with your anger or depression in a positive way. I did....i spoke to my cat about it!!!! I think, the cat understood and it was extra loving to me. Ohhh, the love of this gentle creature is so unconditional...i am so honoured and humbled by it.

Anyway, it is a beautiful day....the sun is bright and the sky is blue. I am healthy and i have the means to indulge my guilty pleasures (see my entry-Oct 2007). I am grateful for the blessings i have in my life. I am here. I am blessed.

1 comment:

Padian said...

I am very sorry to hear that you have had 'inner demons'. I know that only too well...

talking to someone had been recommended to me... so does thinking how and what we can change, things within our capacity to change to make it more positive..

The second is most helpful, but it is harder beyond imagination... Do try...

Depression is not a sign of weakness... Its a chemical imbalance in your brain...

And.. it does affect others, despite hiding them well... I'm a world class actress... still, some can still sniff it. and yes... Depression kills, literally!