Perfect Mates

This blog is inspired by Padian's latest entry. How to find the perfect mate, stay in love and be faithful with the same person for the rest of your life and yet be a person in your own right, with separate identity from your spouse. Wow, i feel exhausted just thinking about that!!!

We all acknowledged that mate selection is a highly complex processs and it is the most crucial decision of our lives. We spend a huge amount of time and energy trying to find that special someone. Yet we are often not satisfied. We seem as much in the dark as ever about who is a suitable match for us.

What made us fall in love with that special someone? I know of people with list of exacting attributes for that perfect someone. These are the typical items on the list;

• Attractive
  
• Stable job
• Good family background
  
• Brainy
• Good body
• Age between ??? to ???
• Personality
  

Preferences for these qualities - beauty, brains and resources - are universal. If you ask me, what do i look for in a mate..., i know for sure what i do not want;

• workaholic
• commitment phobic
• stingy git
• possessive loser
• feline hater
• insensitive & chauvinistic lout
• ultra-needy
• unfaithful jerk
• negative personality

There you got it!! My list of don'ts. However, at the end of the day -- always trust your instincts. My advice is : You are in the driving seat; its your life and you have to choose what is RIGHT or the BEST for you and yours.

It has been suggested that falling in love with that special someone has been attributed to ineffable chemistry. Who we fall for is determined by a mix of factors, some of which we are aware of, some of which we experience indirectly. Happenstance can play a major role too. For, what its worth, be with someone because s/he values you not because you have to have someone by your side!!!! Remember, you hoped to be with that person for the rest of your life and as such you have to be together for the right reasons in the first place.

Cats Gallery

The pictures of my four legged friends are so adorable that I simply have to share them.

Plate 1. Mr. C is having a catnap

Plate 2. Silver tabby owns the bed

Plate 3. Oyster and Kebab

Plate 4. Patch and her books.

It's a battle zone every day between the felines. Kebab is a tease. His favourite past time is baiting the silver tabby. Despite losing the battle, Kebab wore his battle wounds with pride!! Oyster and Patch keep a very watchful and careful distance from the grouchy silver tabby. Mr. C has more or else accepted the "interlopers" (Kebab and Oyster) but he keeps an eye on Patch. As for the silver tabby, she loves Mr. C and she will hiss or claw whenever she sees the other cats. My take on this.....the four cats will have to learn to get along. They usually will in the end.

April Babies

It's my wall of fame for April celebrants. I like to wish "april hatchers" a very, very, happy, happy birthdays. Enjoy the day people!! Mantra of the month - "age is just a number"

1 April
N--k

Famous People
Ali MacGraw (actress)
Debbie Reynolds (actress)

5 April
L--a

Famous People
Colin Powell (military leader/politician)
Arthur Hailey (author)

21 April
K-k-
J---y P--s

Famous People
Sarah Michelle Geller (actress)
Tony danza (actor)

22 April
L--g L--g
H--i A--r

Famous People
Jack Nicholson (actor)
Immanuel Kant (philosopher)

25 April
N--a
S----a R--

Famous People
Rene Zellweger (actress)
Al Pacino (actor)

29 April
F---h

Famous People
Andre Agassi (tennis player)
Uma Thurman (actress)

30 April
K-----l

Famous People
kirsten Dunst (actress)
Gary Collins (actor)


Birthday Flower
The month of April is represented by the daisy. Daisies have long been associated with innocence.

Birthstone
Diamond; Sapphire.

Happy Birthday. May all of your birthday wishes come true.

Contemplation

The past two weeks have been interesting to say the least. Work-wise, it has been buzzing more than usual and on the personal front -- a blast from my past came knocking on the door - it was a total shock to the system. One thing for sure, something profoundly significant had happened to me. I have my A-Ha! moment. I learned to face my fear and to catch a tiger by its tail. I am blessed that I have people who love and support me. And for what it's worth, I am deeply grateful for that experience. A very wise man and a spiritual guru, Eckhart Tolle writes "don't dwell in past hurts. Realize deeply that the the present moment is all you ever have. Make Now the primary focus of your life." I think this is a very good advice. Positive thinking and lightness of being are prerequisites to happiness.

Eerily enough, I had this kind of conversation on "the meaning of life - relationship kind of stuff thing" with R-- some months ago. That was when she suggested me to write on first love. I did, part 1 & 2. Recently Tuuu E was telling me that "i needed to get out of the box." I responded positively by writing about stepping out of my comfort zone. Bubu and I were also talking about serendipity and how God works in a strange and mysterious ways. Anyway, you must be wondering where I am heading with this......do bear with me as it will be very clear soon.


Looking through my posts I was suddenly hit by a feeling of déjà vu!! My last entry was on closure. Before this very subject, my posts revolved on the following topics: sole connection (sole and soul sound sort of similar!!); out of the box (i literally broke out of my comfort zone, took the plunge and said farewell to my past); cats (the closure guy has a thing about cats); dial L for love (a meeting with a blast from the past) and intentions (closure). Can you see the connection here??

I think subconsciously I have been ready for this moment. To family members and other scoffers....this is the evidence you all have been waiting for. I have psychic power!!!!! I know this for sure and now you know it too. hee hee hee. On a serious note though, life is full of surprises. We have to take the good, the bad and the ugly life has to offer in equal measure and most importantly to learn from each encounter.

C.L.O.S.U.R.E.

I nearly had a heart attack two days ago. An ex-boyfriend came to visit the country and expressed an interest to meet up with moi. My first reaction was OH MY GOD!!! NEVER!!! NO!!! NO WAY!! Isn't it suppose to be when it's over, it's over and we are never to look back????!!! So when he came calling in the name of 'closure', I thought to myself, "no way matey, you are so out of luck because I'm so not interested in entertaining past hurts"!!!

But I asked myself...."am I doing myself a disservice? Do i entertain his request and just meet the man"!!!! These thoughts were running through my mind....eenie meenie miny moe: "meet him" or "leave it"???? I texted my circle for opinions. All said a big resounding YES!!!!

Let me just revisit the past. According to him, I broke his heart (in my defense, he broke mine too!!). It was an on-off relationship, on again and off again for many years. It's like riding on a roller coaster!!! I didn't know whether I was coming or going!!! We definitely had issues. In fact, I ended the relationship a couple of times during our time together. He was a nice guy, witty, intelligent, not too bad in the looks department, but in the end, he simply didn't deserve me (the goddess - har!har!har!).

Anyway, enter BBF who had a thing or two to say about my closure-phobia. She insisted that I must see the guy because we (the guy & I) have "unfinished business" and we need to resolve our issues!!! According to BBF, closure is essential for growth. It is also about self discovery, inner peace, learning and development. BBF said closure will allow me to move forward into a new stage. Lack of closure can impede my growth. BBF can be such a smart aleck at times!!! To cut a long story short, I bought her logic and took the plunge.....

Meeting an ex after a long time was scary to say the least. I was fraught with nerves and anxiety.......couldn't slept the night before, had butterflies in my stomach and all that jazz. We met at long last over breakfast. To be honest, it was good to see him. We had a good time. What i know for sure is that dealing with a break up is hard but closure is definitely highly recommended....and when we (ex & I) said our final goodbye....we morhped into a new stage in our relationship -- friendship. I am done and I have moved on with my life. Yes, I will still think of him because if i am honest deep down there is still something there. According to my Guru a.k.a BFF.... it's normal and it's to be expected. I know closure is a good thing for me personally. This is the greatest gift that I have ever given me, myself and i. Closure is an invitation for growth, wisdom and regeneration. I am totally in a good place right now.

This entry is dedicated to BBF, Ns, Rx and family members near and far who gave me the courage and support to 'catch a tiger by its tail'. Thank you. I love you all.


p.s. I am asking Fate....anymore coming out of the woodwork????. bring them on baby!! I am ever so ready!! hehehe

Sole Connection

I come from a family that loves shoes. I mean, all the girls in the family are very well-heeled. Dare I say that some of us in the family are TRULY shoe addicts. I CAN NAME YOU!! tee hee hee. What is it about shoes that make us weak at the knees??? Why are they so addictive?? One thing for sure is, shoes give you instant uplift. It's surgery without the knife. Heels transform the way you walk and carry yourself.

Plate 1. shoes-o-shoes

It has been said that shoes are sex in a box!!! hehehe. When I put on a beautiful and expensive pair, its so pure decadent, such wicked pleasure, its hedonistic at best!!! har!har!har! You may ask, what constitutes a true shoe habit? Let me see.....it's when you experience shortness of breath at the sight of a shoe sale and beautiful soles? I-joke-not. The shoe doesn't even have to be for moi. It can be for someone else, I get the same rush of adrenalin and excitement! It's also when I see a perfect pair and they definitely speak to me. They are like lorelei, a siren who lures sailors to their deaths. In my case, temptation; empty wallet and shoes to die for!! hehehehe. When soles beckon, my common sense just evaporated and i come up with just the perfect mantra every time, shoes are an investment!!!!

BBF doesn't understand this obsession to shoes. But she indulges me and tries to be a sport when I spend a little too long in a shoe shop. Over time, she wise up and to let me do my own shoe browsing/shopping. I think women understand each other. After all, don't we all go a little overboard with the shopping from time to time? Isn't it part of being the complicated, mysterious, moody, adorable, multitasking females that we are?

What I know for sure is my love for shoes is hereditary. Sole connection enables us to stick together as a family. We have something in common beside our name -- our passion for shoes!!. On a personal note, I love shoes. I like them a lot more than going barefoot. I rest my case!!!

March Babies

This is my hall of fame for March birthday babies. To all celebrants, "happy hatch day, enjoy your birthday and mantra-o-mantra -- be like tigger (loves fun!) and celebrate the day to the fullest!!! Hugs and kisses to my March birthday babies.

• March's birthstone is Aquamarine.
• March's birth flower is the Daffodil.

2nd March
L-u-

Famous People
Chris Martin (Cold Play - Lead singer)
Dr. Seuss (Writer - The cat in the hat; How the Grinch stole Christmas)

8th March
N-r--i

Famous People
Lynn Redgrave (Actress)
Freddie Prinze Jr. (Actor)


11th March
P-b-l-s

Famous People
Robert Murdoch (Tycoon, Publisher)
Thora Birch (Actress)


19th March
Abg A--
K---l

Famous People
Bruce Willis (Actor)
Wyatt Earp (Iconic figure in American folk history)


22th March
D---a

Famous People
Reese Witherspoon(Actress)
Chico Marx (Actor; Comedian)