Hello 2013

I am backkkk!! It has been ages since I put words into print. So watch this space people :))

My Rant

It's been said that the truth hurts. Yes, I know and I embrace that, as the truth is supposed to set you free. Truth should not be delivered condescendingly and with arrogance. Every truth told deserves to be told with kindness and respect. There are different layers to every truth. The truth as you understand might be different from my truth. We have different perspectives and different interpretations of the truth. Tell the truth with integrity and honor - not a version of your truth.

I am not enraged by the truth. I can accept the truth and honesty. However, i am very angry at your presumptions of my truth. How dare you!!!!! Anger is not a healthy emotion, I dig that. I have been trying to be philosophical about your truth. At the end of the day, no one can carve my truth. I know the truth. The truth that matters to me. I shall live with my truth, thank you very much. You might not be happy with my truth - so be it. Accept it with humility and grace. Leave me be!

Someone like you

Sometimes a song says a thousand words. It can also describes a particular moment in our life pefectly. Here's one.


"Someone Like You"
- Adele -

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead

Doing The Right Thing

We have been drilled since young to do the right thing. Doing the right thing can either be easy or hard, depending on the situation. Sometimes, NOT doing the right thing is easy that people do not bother at all and just leave it at that, hoping that everything will work out fine in the end. In other words, doing the right thing is the hardest thing a person can ever do! It takes courage and conviction to do the right thing.


Sometimes I do wonder, what does it mean by 'doing the right thing?'. Do we do it simply because its expected of us, or just because its our duty or its the done thing or simply because you have to conform to society's rule?? However, it has to be said, that by doing the right thing, you do feel great and think that you have done something worthy or even noble. Most importantly, you can sleep at night, conscience clear of any blame or guilt.



Doing the right thing depends on our perspectives and values at the end of the day. If you do the right thing because it feels right and you do it without any pressure or coercion, then you should feel extremely proud. However, doing the right thing is not so straight forward as it seems especially if there are other factors involved. You have to weigh all the variables and come up with an answer that you are happy with. At times, you may not be entirely happy with the decision you make but had to, simply because its the right thing to do! Have you ever done something which was the right decision at that time and now regretted since??



At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you. Life is short - live your best life!

XX

A Touch Of Kindness

It has been an interesting few months for me. I have encountered situations which made me realized that the life lessons are there to teach us something about our selves and the people around us.

I have been thinking a lot these past few months over some stuff. Have I become very impatient with people? Have I lost the belief that people can do good and great things? Do I expect too much from people that when my expectations were not met, I tend to be very judgmental?? Have I lost my mojo? Have I become less kinder to self and to other people?

I have come to the realization that kindness is not a special treatment. Kindness is something that we show in our treatment to others and most importantly, I need to be kinder to myself - I am my worst critic and that sometimes hinders me from doing something - its like self-sabotage! Enough already!! I totally deserve kindness from self.

A touch of kindness is a great thing. Be kind in your dealing with self and others. XX

Saturday Blue

I have been surfing the TV channels for something to watch - but- alas, there's nothing exciting on the box tonight. I am bored, really bored. I have things to do but I can't just sum up the energy to do my chores - don't want to think about work as it just make me sick to the stomach!!

For the past few days, I have been feeling really morose and depressed. I can't seem to shake the darkness. Believe me I tried! However, the feeling of helplessness was really strong. I was simply not in a good place and I really needed an outlet to let it all out!! I don't know why I am feeling like this -- i mean i have a good life and i have nothing to complain and yet why did I feel so down in the dumps?!!!

I suppose everyone goes through a rough patch in their lives, or the time of the month is fast approaching which may explain this moodiness... Whatever it is, I want this heavy feeling to just go away....

It wasn't until this afternoon when the darkness slowly dissipate. I had an A-ha moment when a good friend of mine said in a conversation that 'laughter is the best medicine'. I think she is right, humour and laughter will uplift the soul. I had a hearty belly laugh and it felt damn good.

Call it serendipity, a chance comment by my good friend and a song heard on the radio called 'open your eyes' by Maher Zain that made me pulled myself out of the blues. When you feel so down, look no further, pray to God. God loves us.

The moral of the story is - God is everywhere and will always be by your side.

Furry friends

For the past few days, I have been bombarded with pictures of cats, tales about cats and offer of a kitten to call my own. My love of felines is well-known amongst those who know me. I have had cats as my loyal companions and they were with me for many, many years. I loved my cats and they loved me unconditionally. I loved it when i called my furry friends by names and they came running to me. I loved petting them. I loved sleeping with my cats. What's not to love - cats are soft, adorable and they purr....

When my cats died, it just broke my heart. I am not saying that I won't ever have a cat to call my own. It's just that I am not ready yet.

I love cats and that's a fact.

I am still here

Just wanna say I am still here and I will see you soon.

Cheers!

Favourite Poem

A friend and I recently discussed about our favourite poems. I have several that i really love - some are inspirational, some are sweet, some are sad and some are really dark. I used to write poems when i was younger. I still kept some poems penned from my youth where they will remain hidden until I am ready to show them off to the world. The poems that i wrote are totally deeply personal, dark and painful because they were written when I was feeling down. I don't know why I have the inspiration to pen one when I am at my lowest ebb!!



I am going to share one of my favourites. I read this poem when I was fifteen. I came across it by accident in the library when I was looking for a book to take out. I was intrigued, i peeked inside, read a few lines and was hooked instantly. I must admit that at that age, I did not really fully understood the depth of this poem. However, I always remembered it because I thought it was beautiful. Recently, the title of this poem was made into a movie. Enjoy the poem below. Have a nice day.



Invictus

By

William Ernest Henley


Out of the night that covers me
black as the pif from pole to pole
i thank whatever gods maybe
For my unconquered soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance
Nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll.


I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Bad Hair Day

A bad hair day can actually spoil your day!! I jest not! There are some people who walk around with severely very bad hair -- 2 celebrities come into mind...Tim Burton (Hollywood Film Director) and Mickey Rourke (Hollywood Actor), yes they are men, famous and rich....but no matter how permanently ugly their hair are - they are still seen as desirable objects by some women!! Obviously these women are desperate and need to be in the limelight!!

I digress! Anyway...i have a really bad hair day today. Saw a friend today who thought i looked very sickly!!! urrrgghhhhh!!! I went shopping later in the day and this stranger gave me this weird look and to add insult to injury...a wide berth!! I must really look like a fright! Mrs Frankenstein I was not!! I was just having a very bad hair day!!

I think negativity is bad karma. When you feel negative, you don't feel good and it really shows on the outside and hence...very bad hair day!! I know beauty is skin deep and its on the inside that matters...but positivity makes you feel good and as such everything around you is beautiful. Well, that's my theory and I am sticking by it!

I am going to have a fantastic week. And I know that I will have great hair days too. Be positive people. Be Happy!

Seriously January

It has been raining for the past few days on and off. I love the rain especially when I am in bed under the cover with a good book. Anyway, rain can make you feel nostalgic and piquant too.

I have been thinking about some stuff recently on and off. Frankly speaking, this matter bothers me and it pains me just by thinking about it. On occasion, i went alternatively sad, then depressed, then angry, then numb and finally sod it off!!!

The thing is, despite the diverse emotions: pain, sadness, anger, hurt pride, sense of injustice and being judged harshy, I understood and accepted it all. I am looking at the bigger picture and as such I am able to accept and be truthful to self. Everyone involved had good intentions. Unfortunately along the way some stuffs were misconstrued and lost in translation.

I think it is empowering, if only we care to look at the bigger picture. This is not a matter of personal vindication or justification. It's simple. I understood! I empathized! Through out it all, I evolved.

I think its important for me to deal with this matter. I think I have found a path to deal with it. It has been said that wherever there's a great dilemma exists is where the greath growth is, too. I can choose to take the high road or the low road. Negativity will bring me nowhere.

It is true that other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny. I am not defined by this situation. I choose the high road. I choose to be happy. I choose not to play victim. I choose to move on! Enough said.

Hello 2010

It has been 2 weeks since we lived in 2010. I remember the coming of the new year vividly.........I was actually outside the house at midnight to watch the fireworks to mark the coming of 2010. It was a beautiful sight. The sky was lighted with gorgeous display of fireworks.

As I was watching the night sky, I saw a big new moon. It made me smile as it reminded me of the movie 'new moon' which caused a frenzy amongst teens all over the world.




In some cultures, new moon means a new life or beginning. Isn't that interesting? Normally, people make new resolutions to mark the beginning of a new year. To be honest, I haven't made any for many, many years. However, what I do know for sure are the following:

1. Be yourself and remain authentic
2. Live, laugh and relax
3. Don't sweat over small stuff
4. Live graciously and in gratitude
5. Don't take your family and friends for granted
6. It's just a moment and its not for the rest of your life is my favourite mantra
7. Always consider the bigger picture
8. Take charge of your life. You are in the driving seat
9. It's NOT always about YOU. Don't play a victim. It's pathetic!
10. All actions have consequences. You have to learn to submit, accept and take responsibility.

Have a happy 2010 everyone and stay positive! :)

Live, Laugh and Relax

There are some good and sad moments in 2009. I am not going to rehash all the details here..... Suffice to tell, I thought I knew it all about life and self. Obviously, my life journey is still an ongoing process. This humbles me and it makes me appreciate all the life lessons i have learnt so far.

I became myself through a lot of processes: setbacks, heartbreaks, intense sadness, bitter mistakes, disappointments, failures, limbos, wild, angry, prayers, patience, peace, support, extensive readings, loss of people I cannot live without, loss of my pets that left me reeling, endless conversations with family and friends about life, friendship and relationship, loyalty, understanding and acceptance. I understand that you have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. I think, its true that we always tend to think that we are right in all matters however it is important to understand the bigger picture. By being holistic, i have come out to the other side, more evolved and more compassionate. In a sense its very empowering. I accepted it all in my strides...faults, foibles, mistakes, truth, consequences, accountability and responsibility.

We will be leaving 2009 soon. May 2010 be more peaceful and joyful to all. As Oprah famously said " Live your best life" and why sweat over the small stuff....Live, Laugh and Relax.

Sayonara 2009 and Selamat Datang 2010. May this year brings us good things in life.

Just Because

These are some of my favourite pictures. Just because its the end of 2009, i am sharing them with you. Nature is eternally beautiful, however it has many faces -- beauty, serenity, life force, survival, savage, raging tempest, angry earth, inferno fire and water disaster. When nature is in one of its moods -- one one can stop it!!! Nature is our greatest gift -- enjoy and appreciate it.

A day at the Beach

It has been ages since I went to the beach. Our beaches are beautiful. Adopt a beach in Brunei and make sure it stays clean and beautiful. Our beaches are the best gifts we can give to selves and future generations. Enjoy the pictures below.

Bali-O-Bali (Part 2)

I love Bali and I think I will be back! Enjoy the pictures folks :-)

Frangipani -- favourite flora amongst locals

Beautiful Balinese carving

Trying to entice visitors to buy souvenirs

Majestic Mount Batur

Traditional village Panglipura

Beautiful Beach

Soaking my feet

That says it all

Bali-O-Bali (Part 1)

I went to Bali recently with one of my closest friends. We had a blast. Bali is an enchanting island and visitors are spoiled with beautiful landscapes, cultural products and friendly locals. These are some of my favourite snapshots of Bali -- enjoy folks.

My hotel room

A Balinese lady making a basket

The finished products

Traditional Balinese village

Balinese idol

Kopi Luwak for coffee connoisseur


The lighter side of Bali

Reflection

For the past two days, I followed Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston on the Hallmark channel. I thought Whitney Houston was very patient to stay in a bad, bad marriage for such a long, long, time simply because she took her marriage vows seriously. The holy matrimony should be taken seriously however the two people in it must take each other with love and respect. In the end, after so many emotional hard knocks, she took the plunge and got herself out of a very toxic relationship. It was a beautiful day when Whitney Houston finally found her real authentic self. She realises that respect is crucial in a relationship and she deserves someone who respects her. Whitney Houston has found her groove back - yeah!!


Wow!!! I had that light bulb moment after watching that interview. We have the potential to survive hard knocks in our lives if we have the faith in God and selves. I thought Whitney Houston is one amazing woman. She has come a long way and has come out of the tunnel stronger and wiser. However, upon reflection, I don't have to look very far for such a woman. I can name a few good women in my life whom I think are truly amazing.


B.B.F is such a woman. I am always amazed by her largesse. She is truly authentic and one beautiful spirit. Thank you B.B.F for being real and for sharing your wisdom with me. I will write about other amazing females in my future blog. So, watch this space.

Stay Tuned

I Am Here

In case you are wondering, yes...I am still standing. I know that it has been a long hiatus since I last put words onto print. I have been busy with work and other stuff. I shall try to write more regularly, after all when I decided to blog, my intentions were to write on the good, the bad and the ugly stuffs that affect me personally.

I was talking to Rx earlier about the possibility of a 'collaboration with a past' but upon reflection, i think she is right. To stir up a hornets' nest is not recommended. I shall bow to her wisdom, after all, she has my best interest at heart. 'The wise will always stay the course' is a good adage for this particular situation. Thanks Rx for your honesty.

There are many interesting moments that I want to share with you dear readers, but they can wait. I am Here, enough said.

Watch this space

Bangkok, Thailand

I went to Bangkok, Thailand with Best, Best Friend after a wonderful trip to Vietnam. We were well-equipped (face masks, different arrays of vitamins) in the face of the spread of H1N1 pandemic. Despite the H1N1 hoopla, we had a wonderful time there. We stayed at Baiyoke Sky which is the tallest building in Thailand. These are some of my favourite pictures from Thailand.

Our favourite - tea with milk

Bird's eye view of Bangkok

Thailand galore

The hustle bustle of Bangkok

That says it all!